Do you remember being in middle or high school and giggling when someone typed in “80085” on their calculator? You turned it upside down, and it spelled “boobs.” The same feeling can be experienced when you think about the 69 sex position, and it has a reputation for being awkward. Imagine putting your genitals on your partner’s face!
This move will often leave your holes very vulnerable, so it’s understandable that 69-ing someone can make you nervous. Plus, it’s often hard to have an orgasm while your partner is going down on you, and now you’re taking care of them at the same time!
However, it’s not a completely lost cause. Certified sex therapist Janet Brito says that kind communication and a curious and open attitude can help you enjoy the 69 position. It’s crucial to communicate with the other person on how you like to be pleasured and experiment with various styles.
There’s no need to go to a sex coach or a sex educator because this article explains the act and can help you feel a little more comfortable about having your genitals over your partner’s face. Let’s dive in!
How to 69 – Have a Partner Lie Down on Their Back and More
The first step is to have the person lie down on their back. Generally, the man does this. Then, the woman gets on top, facing away from her partner. Your genitals will be lined up with that partner’s mouth, and the other’s genitals will be lined up with yours.
If you can’t get your partner’s head to fit in the right spot, you can try the side-by-side oral sex position. It’s all about feeling comfortable.
You don’t have to focus on achieving an orgasm with the 69 sex position. You can always use it as a means of foreplay before other oral sex acts (or even vaginal/anal penetration).
Why Try The 69 Sex Position
It’s a little weird to think of your partner’s genitals being in your face, especially for a woman. Generally, women are more prone to this if they perform blowjobs for their man. However, you’ll likely see your partner’s anus and vice-versa, which can be a daunting task. Here are a few reasons to forego the fear and jump into the fray!
Maintain the Spark in Bed
Couples that can maintain long-term and satisfying sexual relationships often have a few things in common. One of them would be a sense of adventure. The act of 69ing takes some trial and error, and you both have to be willing to explore. That means it’s good for bringing couples back into a mindful approach to sex.
You can’t really zone out while you’re 69ing; you’ve got to be attentive, responsible, and ready for new things. Therefore, it can help couples rediscover their passion for each other.
When couples challenge themselves, experiment, explore, and are brave to do things outside of their comfort zones, they add mystery and vulnerability to the mix. These are components required for contentment.
You Like to Perform Oral Sex
Most women find that oral sex is the only way to achieve orgasm when with a partner. Therefore, a sex act dedicated to this might be worth considering if you struggle.
Likewise, 69 is a great option for people who are turned on by going down on a partner. You can increase your own pleasure in the bedroom by doing this.
Balance the Pleasure Ratio for Your Sex Life
Some couples find that only one person is receiving oral sex most of the time, and the one left out will want to rectify the situation. You might become frustrated that you always give oral and never get it, so 69ing can balance things out. Sex experts like Renee Adolphe say that no one can get left out when they 69!
You Like Plenty of Stimulation
The 69 oral sex position is great for those who want many stimuli to turn them on. When you give/receive simultaneously, your body is genitally stimulated, but you’re aroused by the smells, sights, and noises of the partner’s pleasure, too. That combination might lead to stronger orgasms. You feel satisfaction because you made your partner feel good.
How to 69 Comfortably
Sometimes, it’s hard to focus on having your own orgasm when you try to please your partner. However, you can always take a few breaks if the 69 sex position seriously interferes with your pleasure. It doesn’t have to be a marathon!
Physical comfort is crucial during any sex act. Most people wish to make this position the main event periodically, so the best way to do this is for both people to be on their sides. You don’t have to worry about limbs going where they shouldn’t or muscle strains. Plus, it’s possible to use each other’s thighs as the pillow to reduce neck pain.
When there is a significant height difference, the taller partner can put their body into a “C” shape to accommodate the other person. A sex pillow might also be beneficial because it takes the weight off your body so that you can enjoy the oral pleasure you’re giving and receiving.
Likewise, if you have a sensitive gag reflex, it’s best to use your hands to take pressure from the throat. You can cuff the base of the man’s penis.
Make the 69 Sex Position Hotter with These Tips
If you’re still not sure exactly what to do or where things should go, here are a few more tips to help you:
1. Don’t Be too Serious
The trick to the 69 position is to have fun with it. Make sure things are sensual and relaxed. For example, when your partner lies on the bed with their head hanging down, it will be a lot easier. Stand on the floor, kissing and massaging the upper body, slowly crawling down until you are both in the right position.
2. Get Handsy
Don’t forget about the rest of the body when you’re each going down on the other. Your hands can bring pleasure to other hot spots around the nether regions, such as the hips and inner thighs. However, you can also use them to give your mouth a break.
3. Think of It as a Sensual Experience
Nan Wise, a certified sex therapist and licensed psychotherapist, says that sensate focus exercises can help people reconnect when in the bedroom. They require the couple to focus on being touched and the sensations provided.
Here’s the gist of it: When you’re focusing on how it feels when you’re touched in certain ways, you gain an understanding of what turns you on. Then, you can explain that to your partner and have better sex.
Put that concept to use with 69 and focus deeply on what you experience when you touch your partner, and they touch you. Trace the person’s spine, the curvature of their behind, and don’t focus solely on getting laid.
4. Use a Vibrator or Another Sex Toy
Giving head in that position is often awkward, regardless of how many pillows you use. Therefore, you may want to grab a sex toy, such as a small vibrator, to help her pelvic floor muscles contract. You can also tell your partner to stimulate your vulva while using tongue action for the best results.
5. Switch Things Up Orally
Don’t get yourself stuck in a rut when it comes to oral sex skills. Go-to moves will not be your friend here. Your goal is to create a unique experience every time, so go fast or slow, try long strokes, or go around in circles. You can even change the suction and pressure.
Overall, the goal is to have fun with oral sex. The hottest is when the giving partner enjoys the sensations. Since you’re both getting and giving, it’s a great place to start.
6. Use Lube
A physical limitation can become an issue when you’re trying a tricky position like 69ing. This includes the aspects of the position, as well as producing enough saliva to lubricate the partner’s genitals. If you’ve been sucking for a while, you might lessen their oral pleasure because the area isn’t wet enough.
Consider trying a flavored lube, keeping it close by. You can then keep everything flowing and reduce the irritation and friction caused by playing with a dry surface.
7. Wear Sexy Clothing with Easy Access
An easy way to make your intimate encounter hotter if you feel shy is to focus on your outfit. Wear clothes that you feel alive or sexy in, which can be lingerie or even silky pajamas. Also, when the clothing items have easy access, it’s even more fun.
As your partner lies there, you can simply hop on top without having to shuck off your shorts if you’re wearing crotchless panties.
8. Use a Sex Swing
A sex swing can provide a little gentle motion to make the position pleasurable for both people. One partner will lie on the swing while the other stands with their feet on the ground and bent over. Just ensure that the swing is mounted properly so that no one gets hurt.
The swing can offer different suction (softer or harder) depending on the motion used, and it’s excellent when partners have significant height gaps, as well.
9. Try It Standing Up
You’re probably wondering how this “tip” will work. Wouldn’t someone have to be upside down? The answer is yes. This version of the 69 position is very high-risk. One partner must hold the other in the air. Therefore, it won’t work for all couples.
The one partner being held must use their core muscles to take on some of the weight and pressure. One variation would be for the male partner to lean against the wall while supporting his back.
10. Bring Someone Else to the Party
If a third person joining the fun is on the table, you can try another variation of the classic 69 position. Each person should be angled off, which creates a triangle shape. This allows for anal and genital stimulation.
Men’s and women’s health is important, so you should practice safe sex when doing the 69 position. This means wearing dental dams and flavored condoms to protect from STIs and other issues.
Learning to 69 – Final Thoughts
With many oral sex positions available, you may become adventurous with your partner, and the 69 position offers many options. In fact, you learned about a few variations that can help with height difference issues or when bringing in another party.
Overall, 69ing is a bit tricky for most people, so don’t feel bad if it takes you a few tries to figure out what works best for you. These tips will surely help you experiment and learn new things. It can be a fun way to spice things up in the bedroom and bring you closer to your partner!