The term “sexually frustrated” usually gets the point across to the listening party, but really, there’s more to it than meets the eye. Everyone has something that works for them in the bedroom, and when those demands are not met, it leaves much to desire.
I, for one, do not like the idea of getting left in the lurch in the bedroom after my partner finishes. It feels like an oversight bordering on betrayal. And try as I might, the feeling doesn’t go away.
Experience has taught me that many people would agree that not finishing during sex is not a good look. Or worse, your partner leaves you to make yourself ejaculate without helping you amplify and sustain your pleasure until you get there. That hurts and adds layers to an already-filled drum of sexual frustration.
This article will tackle everything from sexual frustration in men and women to ways to handle sexual frustration. So let’s dive in.
What Does It Mean to Be Sexually Frustrated?
It’s easy to assume sexual frustration is caused by your partner not giving you everything you want during sex. But I can confirm that it barely scratches the surface of the sexual frustration spectrum. Sexual frustration can result from you, your mindset, your mood, or your outlook regarding sex.
As much as many people swear by how great sexual intercourse is, some people dread the act. Now imagine how frustrating it would feel to be in a relationship where the very idea of sex puts you in a bad mood.
Sexual frustration may even occur with couples who seemingly check all the boxes during sex and both parties orgasm in every instance—the type of sex many would describe as not having any passion but getting the work done, leaving room for unfulfillment.
So, yes, there are different ways to view sexual frustration, each peculiar to each person. And to top it all off, sexual frustration is evident in all sexual orientations. It’s a normal response in adults. However, it can have a huge impact on your mental health.
Stress from sexual frustration might increase your adrenaline and cortisol levels, stress hormones that can trigger health issues.
Causes of Sexual Frustration
Here are some causes of sexual frustration:
- Stress and burnout
- Low libido
- Trauma from a past sexual partner
- Lack of physical intimacy
- Self-denial of private sexual preferences.
- Anger and anxiety
- Internalized stigma
- Worry overlooks
- Relationship problems
- Unavailable partners
In most cases, you might be experiencing sexual frustration as a result of negative emotions you’ve experienced or are experiencing. This emotion might be internal or external. But one thing is sure: you need to address the emotion to get your sexual drive working again.
Picture this: you’re a single, sexually deprived individual, and getting someone to show interest in you is proving a challenging task. This adds a hurdle to your love life, building your frustration and making you yearn for and desire intimacy until it’s a burning end.
Or you’re always thinking in your head about your looks and how your partner views you. It adds a particular sort of pressure during intimacy that lowers your self-esteem and confidence during sex. Further, it might make you focus more on shielding and protecting your image than on the ongoing sexual act.
I can sense that you can tell how this is a problem. So, if you’re a sexually frustrated man or woman, don’t be peeved about the emotion. I can confirm that you can work your way around it.
Simply determine the root cause and focus on fixing it. Or speak with your healthcare provider to schedule a treatment plan.
Signs of Sexual Frustration
Are you calculating and wondering if you’re walking around with a telltale sign that you’re sexually frustrated? Don’t imbibe that worry. It’s a far-fetched assumption.
For example, any onlooker or your coworker can’t take one look at you, snap their fingers, and be like, “Yeah, I can tell you’re sexually frustrated.” That’s not how it works. However, there are signs indicating you’re sexually frustrated that you should take note of.
If your partner is exhibiting these signs, it’s good for you to initiate a conversation and find ways around them.
Here are some sexually frustrated signs:
- Consuming a lot of pornography
- No orgasms or low-intensity orgasms
- Reckless and unwarranted behaviors
- Arguing pointlessly and constantly with your partner
- Escalating arguments into fights
- Hypertension in women
- Increasingly demanding for touches to connect with your partner
- Lack of libido and interest in your partner
- Eating and drinking excessively
- Viewing your partner negatively
- Having mood swings at the thought of sex
- Seeking revenge on the source of your frustration
These and more are signs your partner is sexually frustrated. But a better way of determining their mindset regarding your sexual activity is to ask. Shying away from the question because you don’t want to hear about your lackluster performance won’t improve the situation.
So, how about you have a candid conversation and be open to suggestions? It could reveal ways to rekindle the flame of your love.
How to Deal with Sexual Frustration if You’re Single
Many single people can attest to being sexually frustrated, which is understandable and rightly blamed on the lack of a sexual partner. As a single person, finding ways to let off steam and deal with your sexual needs can help reduce sexual frustration.
But of course, not everyone can handle temporary solutions like masturbation and would need a steady love partner.
Either way, here are ways you can deal with sexual frustration if you’re single:
- Distract yourself
- Hire a legal sex worker
- Create a structured routine
- Seek a friend with benefits
Self-pleasuring is known to help people satisfy their sexual needs, even if it’s on a temporary basis. Many people swear by the clarity masturbation gives. This is why most people tend to masturbate before going out on a date, so they won’t get tempted to seek sex during the date.
An excellent way to derive pleasure from masturbation is to pair it with fantasies or watch pornography. One way or another, you will get stimulated enough to ejaculate. Feel free to use a sex toy if that will help scratch your itch.
Sexual frustration can take a mental toll unless you do something about it. Now, if masturbation rubs you the wrong way or you don’t want to touch yourself, you can simply find other things to focus on.
Not only will that lessen the stress and desire, but it will also save you the trouble of lining up with the wrong person. Consider starting a creative project, learning a new skill, or visiting your family or friends to distract yourself.
Hire a Legal Sex Worker
If there’s one thing sex workers are versed in, it’s knowing multiple ways to satisfy their partners. Hiring sex workers is a lot more technical these days. Simply find a genuine platform and sign up for their service.
Remember to mention what you want done to the sex worker, then sit back and enjoy the moment.
Create a Structured Routine
Discipline helps ward off sexual frustration. You can create a routine that enables you to gain control of your thoughts and behavior. If you realize ways to control some aspects of your life, your discipline will help alleviate some of the built-up tension.
You burn a lot of energy and release a lot of pent-up tension when you exercise. So why not take up that endeavor? It would allow you to focus on other things and build your mental health.
Seek a Friend with Benefits
If all else fails, you will do well to have a friend with benefits. This is a situation that many single people use to rejuvenate their sexual lives and ward off their sexual frustration. That aside, some individuals have found genuine love in this situation.
However, before going into a friend-with-benefits situation, have a conversation with your friend and understand their stand. This would help you avoid crossing some boundaries, falling in love, and seeking more.
Good sexting puts one in the mood for sex and leads to other fun activities, like exchanging nudes or having phone sex. This still boils down to helping yourself ejaculate and fantasize. But it gets the work done. This website is a good one to find sext partners.
Dealing With Sexual Frustration in a Relationship
If you’re in a relationship or married and you’re Sexually Frustrated, think about the core reason why you are having that feeling. You see, some events can negatively belabor your effort to have sex.
Not to mention, you might lose the zeal to have sex if you’re constantly doing so with your partner. But not to fret; you can still do something about it and rekindle the fire again.
Here are ways to deal with sexual frustration when you’re in a relationship:
- Talk to your partner
- Seek a sex therapist or couples counselor
- Consider other options to revive your sexual activity
Talk to Your Partner
Communication is vital in a relationship. It’s the only way your partner would have firsthand information on what works and what doesn’t. So if you’re sexually frustrated, consider having an in-depth conversation with your partner.
This would give them an area of focus and improvement. Also, you would get to know if your desire is something they can accommodate without assuming they would say no outrightly.
It’s great to relearn each other’s sex vibe and what you’re anxious about during the act. It would help your partner know what to avoid and provide to make you feel great.
Seek a Sex Therapist or Couples Counselor
Speaking to a professional is a good way to clear the air. They can help support your motion and have difficult conversations you’re unwilling to have alone with your partner. Or they will suggest ways to approach your partner to discuss your sexual frustration.
Additionally, a sex therapist can suggest ideas and exercises to improve your sex life. So if you have a partner who isn’t good with communication, you should seek a counselor or sex therapist.
Consider Other Options to Revive Your Sexual Activity
Have you thought about threesomes or getting into a polyamory situation? Now, before you frown on it and discard the idea, consider the upside. Threesomes help couples get the juice flowing in their relationship, regardless of their sexual orientation.
This is one of the conversations you can have with your partner to know if bringing a second party would cleanse your sexual frustration. A good rule of thumb is to seek strangers or other couples with the same desire.
This way, you won’t get emotionally invested or maybe make things awkward with your friend. Polyamory is an exciting option that is known to revive relationships. Of course, you need to find someone you and your partner can enjoy.
Prevention of Sexual Frustration
- Build a healthy sexual relationship
- Develop a healthy sexual habit
Building Healthy Sexual Relationships
One of the most effective ways to prevent sexual frustration is by building healthy sexual relationships. This involves establishing honest and open communication with your partner about your sexual needs and desires. Also, it creates an environment of trust and mutual respect where you and your partners feel comfortable and safe expressing yourself sexually.
Developing a Healthy Sexual Habit
Developing healthy sexual habits means respecting your partner’s boundaries, being open to trying new things, and exploring different aspects of your sexuality.
It’s important you address your sexual frustration with no hesitation. Not talking about it might pile pressure and frustration, making you lash out at your partner. So, be open and honest and get to the root cause of your frustration.
You have to bear in mind that your partner might not be willing to experiment with some sexual activities. In a case like this, you should consider speaking to a sex therapist to know the best way to approach the topic and present it to your partner.
Try having mindful and genuine communication with your partner and try not to coerce. Because then you’re encroaching and frustrating them even more.